Posts Tagged ‘Kill Whitey’

what is the strangest request for a tattoo you’ve ever gotten

what is the strangest request for a tattoo you’ve ever gotten

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We once had a last minute couple come in, girl wanted a tattoo, guy was sweaty as fuck but all in all, quiet. He composed himself for the entire pre work discussion period but once she was getting her work, he let loose. Turns out he had a shitload of coke and wasn handling it very well, and proceeded to buzz around the studio losing his mind at 80 miles per hour. He had on a soaking wet leather jacket (it had not rained) and no shirt on underneath, and he went around talking about roundhouse kicking everything in the building.

One of my shops employed me and two smaller females, neither of which was very confrontational. This led to problems at times when customers would get belligerent or touchy feely. One girl was totally nonviolent and just tried to politely remove everyone, the other girl carried a big fucking knife. We kept a shotgun under the front counter, I kept a 38 in my desk, and a cattle prod under my desk. Yes, a real cattleprod. A very, very large drunk man once came in and forcefully (physically) began arguing with a girl and I hit him in the neck with the cattle prod. He came to almost two hours later, having shit his pants, and called his mom to pick him up.

It very common to get crackheads in trying to sell you all manners of things they stolen. I gotten incredible things for next to no money whatsoever this way. I once got an $800 mountainbike from a crackhead for $20. Most amazing part is, he shoplifted it. This may not amaze some people, but I personally cannot fathom shoplifting something bigger than a candy bar, let alone a bicycle.

We once had a guy do PCP in the bathroom during a tattoo break. He came out and resumed getting tattooed, and minutes later, was screaming at the top of his lungs about the incredible power in his body. He stood up and carried a 400 lb. barber chair out the front door, put it in traffic, disrobed and sat in it. He sat there, screaming in traffic, nude in a barber chair, until the police arrived.

Alright, now I REALLY leaving work. I add more, I promise.

I gotten a ton of strange requests, ranging from absurd, to racist, to just sad.

People have asked me to tattoo someone else blood into them.

People have asked me to tattoo ink mixed with the ashes of a dead relative. That is disgusting and unsanitary. There have to be better ways to memorialize someone.

I tattooed a cocksticka on someone (a swastika made of dicks)

I tattooed a Medusa with cocks instead of snakes.

I seen a guy I work with tattoo a girls inner labia “love” and “hate” on either side.

I giant black guy got that same tattooer to tattoo “Kill Whitey” across his shoulders. (we white so it was kind of a hilarious situation)

I done a cactus dressed up as hitler youth, A ronald mcdonald hitler, all kinds of dumb shit.

My favorite is a kid that called me after hours. I was closing up shop, everyone else had gone home, and I made the mistake of picking up the phone. There never a good result to picking up the phone at a tattoo shop after hours. The person on the other end is always drunk, crazy, or a combination of the two.